Moving on is hard. Moving can be very hard, however, if you have the right support, the transition can be pretty easy. I know I will be transferring schools as in 9 weeks. I'm experiencing a bittersweet moment. I'm very happy because I know this decision will positively affect my life and I know I will get to meet new people (as an extrovert, that makes me very happy), The bitter part is that I will be leaving my school where I have made friends. However, seeing as all my school friends are life long friends, I'm not too concerned that I will loose contact with any of them. Though I will miss my Fridays off ( every Friday that is), I know that it's important for me not to get too comfortable to the point of complacency.
In a moment of introspection, I just felt the need to express that change is vital and essentially beneficial. So even if there are some bitter parts to moving on or changing, the benefits will most likely outweigh the harms.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Authoritative Bullying
SELF ANALYSIS:
I'm really angry with myself right now. I gave away something that I didn't want to because this brat wanted something that I had. After irritating me, I said no, leave me alone. Then, he complains to his mother, my aunt , and my mother. All of a sudden all the mothers rush to his defense saying "why can't you just give it to him", and "don't be like that", and " this is why white kids are ahead". I am so irritated because I find it unfair that they yell at me for the racial inequality in the world because I didn't want to give away something I worked hard for. They didn't ask why I didn't give it to him, they just went to his defense. In the time that I have known him, this boy has taken everything. He has taken my cousin, he has taken my family, he has taken my food, and now he has taken my personal possession to forge it as his own. I shouldn't have had to fight three adults for something that was originally mine just because he saw it and wanted it. This is not a child, this boy is maybe a year younger than me. This is what I call true inequality. Of all things, I really wish I hadn't given into the incessant bullying and withheld it for myself. That way, I wouldn't have to go through these feelings of the appreciation external approval while suffering through internal loathing.
I'm really angry with myself right now. I gave away something that I didn't want to because this brat wanted something that I had. After irritating me, I said no, leave me alone. Then, he complains to his mother, my aunt , and my mother. All of a sudden all the mothers rush to his defense saying "why can't you just give it to him", and "don't be like that", and " this is why white kids are ahead". I am so irritated because I find it unfair that they yell at me for the racial inequality in the world because I didn't want to give away something I worked hard for. They didn't ask why I didn't give it to him, they just went to his defense. In the time that I have known him, this boy has taken everything. He has taken my cousin, he has taken my family, he has taken my food, and now he has taken my personal possession to forge it as his own. I shouldn't have had to fight three adults for something that was originally mine just because he saw it and wanted it. This is not a child, this boy is maybe a year younger than me. This is what I call true inequality. Of all things, I really wish I hadn't given into the incessant bullying and withheld it for myself. That way, I wouldn't have to go through these feelings of the appreciation external approval while suffering through internal loathing.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Fighting My Stereotypes
STORYTIME:
Today I had to answer the prompt of what my stereotypes are and how I overcome them. This is my response.
My Stereotypes:
I am black so I must be poor, ignorant, and ugly.
Today I had to answer the prompt of what my stereotypes are and how I overcome them. This is my response.
My Stereotypes:
I am black so I must be poor, ignorant, and ugly.
I am so much more than my stereotypes. People come up to me every
day asking me about “trap” houses and things that they find “ghetto”. Going to
a predominantly Caucasian school, they combine things they don’t understand
about the African American culture with their ideas of rap moguls and they
associate that with me. I have nothing to do with drugs, alcohol, or ignorance.
It is not my skin that makes me ugly, but it is I who make my skin beautiful.
What these people don’t know is that I am a 16 year-old girl
who has started her own store, maintains a unweighted 3.94 GPA, and speaks
Chinese. They don’t know that I’m a volleyball player and a dancer who has been
making contacts with the leaders of Fortune 500 companies since 2014. They
don’t recognized that I am the sophomore who continues to apply for these scholarships
who just so happens to be of Haitian and African descent. I am not my hair and
I am not my skin. I am the beautiful soul that lives within.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Measuring Intelligence (IQ)
STORYTIME:
I took 2 different IQ test. On the IQ test provided, I scored a 124. On the 2nd IQ test I took I scored a 122. I notice both tested heavily on finding patterns and correlation. Neither asked questions that would have required prior knowledge on any specific subject, it was more figuring out the patterns. The first one focused on patterns of numbers, analogies, and finding which one didn't belong. The 2nd IQ test was literally 60 questions of finding the picture to fit in the sequence or pattern. The 2nd IQ test had 3 times more questions with 3 times less variety and question, yet I scored almost the same on both tests. I don't believe it truly measures intelligence because it only test one of eight specific intelligences which was the logio-mathematical. Though I do consider myself a logical person, math is not my strongest subject. My strongest subjects regard linguistics and science. To score higher on the test, all one would need to do is practice identifying patterns. I had to take "gifted" tests before and I resulted in being "not gifted". However, if you look at the academic accomplishments and all the things that I have done based off my "intelligence", you would understand why I know those tests are not true measurements of intelligence They are just a standardized measurement of one type of intelligence.
ANALYSIS
To truly get an accurate "intelligence" reading, one would need to be tested on all specific intelligences. Had the test been in a foreign language or about correlating where different words originated from, I would have scored higher. Even if the tests were in Chinese, I would have scored very well, while a lot of other people would have scored poorly due to their lack of Chinese language skills. However, I am just looking at this from the bias so in which I would score the highest or be considered "genius". I can't just pick one type of intelligence to model these IQ tests after because no matter which one you choose, there will be a minority at a high disadvantage regardless of them being intelligent or not. For instance, if I said model the tests after interpersonal intelligence, it would be disadvantageous to the introverts and people who suffer from social disorders like Asperger's syndrome. If I were to choose naturalistic, there are going to be the people that have grown up in the city and would not be able to identify plants and animals as easily as those who live in more forest like areas. Thus, to have an actual intelligence test, it would have to test all areas of the currently known specific intelligences.
ANALYSIS
To truly get an accurate "intelligence" reading, one would need to be tested on all specific intelligences. Had the test been in a foreign language or about correlating where different words originated from, I would have scored higher. Even if the tests were in Chinese, I would have scored very well, while a lot of other people would have scored poorly due to their lack of Chinese language skills. However, I am just looking at this from the bias so in which I would score the highest or be considered "genius". I can't just pick one type of intelligence to model these IQ tests after because no matter which one you choose, there will be a minority at a high disadvantage regardless of them being intelligent or not. For instance, if I said model the tests after interpersonal intelligence, it would be disadvantageous to the introverts and people who suffer from social disorders like Asperger's syndrome. If I were to choose naturalistic, there are going to be the people that have grown up in the city and would not be able to identify plants and animals as easily as those who live in more forest like areas. Thus, to have an actual intelligence test, it would have to test all areas of the currently known specific intelligences.
Friday, March 13, 2015
THE BEST ^_^WORST DAY-_-
STORY TIME:
Thursday, March 12, was the best worst day I have ever had. I'll start at the beginning. I decide to drive to school today and there was an abnormal amount of traffic. I am almost at school, but then a train comes forcing me 10 minutes behind schedule. Literally, 3 blocks from school there are 2 roundabouts. I try to enter the roundabout, and then a car comes zooming past almost causing a car accident. This happened on both roundabouts (2 almost car accidents). So I make it to 1st period, and my friends weren't there. When I say my friends weren't there, I don't mean class friends, I mean my really good friends who I am lucky enough to share a class (or 2) with. It was really quiet in my area. Then, two minutes before the bell, all my stuff falls out of the front pocket of my backpack including but not limited to my ID, trash, pencil shavings, mysterious crumbs, coins, pen, pen caps, razor sharp pencils (that stabbed me in the hand :O ), tickets, one and a half Ritz Crackers, lotion, paper clips and receipts. ALL of my stuff sprawled all over the floor. The bell rings and everyone decides to walk all over my apparently irrelevant mess. They made sure to crush the cracker pieces into irritating cracker grains that I had to sweep up before the late bell. I ninja swept and picked up my stuff to proceed to 2nd period. Nothing exciting nor heavily horrific occurred in 2nd period so let's proceed to 3rd period. I almost made it through 3rd, that is until somebody wanted a hug. This gigantic clumsy freshman insisted on me giving him a hug. And since I am a huge fan of hugs (I literally measure how good my days are by how many hugs I get), I oblige. When I hug this large clumps freshmen, his long arms sweep the back of my dress making it hike up in the back and display my butt to whatever victims sit behind me. #mortified #embarrassed #imsoooooosorry
Then, I go to 6th period and realize that I have left my headphones at home(the struggle). Then, I go to Foreign Language Awards and receive metals and ribbons that have no value to me. Although, this part of my day was super rough, there were good parts like in 4th period, I know I aced my math test (which was really hard). I also participated in Tie Dye Taco Thursday, which is absolutely as awesome as it sounds. I dyed some old stockings and an ill fitting t-shirt. I also got to socialize with my friends face to face which can be very difficult with our conflicting school schedules. The best part of today was when I saw one of my guy friends across campus and we reenacted the slow motion run and hug typically seen in dramatic advertisement or movies. It was so funny and that adds one to my daily hug count ^_^ . I also got to watch the school play which starred one of my friends, though I didn't find it as capturing as other audience members, it was good to support her. My mood started to decline when someone said the terms " I know you better than you know you". That really irritates me because I feel like no one should be up in my personal feelings like that unless I invite them, and I don't like it when someone else is telling me how I feel or how I would react, especially since THEY are not ME. To add on to my souring mood, I wasn't able to talk to my friend who said such irritating things because she was busy with something else, as she was all day. Then, one of my friends comes up to me exclaiming how a guy asked her to military ball. Though I am absolutely delighted for her, there's is still a part of me that wonders when its my turn. I wonder if I will ever get asked to military ball or asked to anything that means something. I know my time will come, it can just get a little discouraging waiting for it.
ANALYSIS: I entitled this my best worst day because I didn't let the unfortunate events ruin my entire day. I smiled through it and pushed through the 15 hour day I spent at school. This is one of those bad days, yet I think this the one I have handled the best. I kept my upbeat attitude even though on the inside I wanted to run away. Today, it has also come to my attention that I love attention, most likely stemming from all the attention my parents gave me when I was little. That also explains my love for hugs. Hugs are a way to show a person affection and attention, and I personally love to be shown both of those things. That's another reason that when I see other girls receiving a lot of attention from males I may get a little wistfully jealous(not a jealous out of malice, more a wish that would happen to me kind of jealous) or a little self-conscious. All in all, I think I handled my worst day pretty well and I'm ready to start fresh tomorrow.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
SWEET 16
STORY TIME:
Yesterday was my birthday and even though I had told my mom I didn't want a party in December, by January, I had changed my mind and decided not only did I want to have a small party, but I wanted a limo as well. After a lot of research and hard work, my party was ready to go. I only invited 14 people. This selection process was actually very difficult because I had to make lists and decide who I felt was a Varsity (1st pick). Then, I prepared back up people for everyone. From there, I made sure that my ratio of people who knew each other would be even. I invited 7 friends from school, 3 friends from the hospital, my best friend, and 2 friends I made through her. Then, I had to make sure the gender ratio was somewhat close. So I had a ratio of 6 boys to 8 girls. Then, I had to ensure that all personalities would mesh well and also that no one had any "beef" with anyone else. After giving out my invitations (which were beautiful by the way) and everyone RSVPed, it was time for everyone to meet up at dinner. So all of my friends showed up within a reasonable time frame and everyone was looking so good. I sat in the middle of the long table because I had a feeling they would naturally segregate into the social groups in which they felt most comfortable. This is the social norm of high school. Thus, the reason I handpicked everyone so that they would know at least two other people besides myself. We had dinner and ate my very fancy cake. Of course mid-dinner all the girls had to get up and go the restroom together. Then, we felt inspired to take pictures near the restrooms. If I have pictures with my ladies, then I have to have pictures with my guys. As promised, my limo came on time and the inside looked really nice. One of my girls left at this point, making the gender ratio 6:7. Though the limo looked very nice and had amenities of sodas and water, the limo did not have an aux cord. So we had to figure out how to use the radio to listen to music. In the meantime, two of my friends gave me their birthday gift, which was "making it rain" on me with $40 in 1's. Then, another friend gave me $20 in addition to the beautiful gift he originally gave me, plus the singles I had before. The driver takes us to Bayside, Miami. For some reason, everyone felt the need to go to the bathroom. We took the escalator to take the use the restrooms upstairs, but little did I know, one of my guest had a fear of escalators. But, I am extremely pro-buddy system so she kept a girl down stair with her. Then, 3 other girls breakoff to use restroom. So the rest of us go downstairs to find the first 2 girls that went to the restroom, just to find out that they went upstairs. Then, one of the guys had to use the restroom. Eventually, everyone got back together and we went outside near the bay. Even though it was supposed to rain, it didn't (YAY!!) and we turned up down there. There was live music outside and we played around there until I found someplace where I wanted to take more pictures. I gathered up squad and I did so. Then, I was ready to go so we all got back in the limo and (thanks to one of my friends who purchased an aux cord) listened to music all the way to the hospital where I dropped off my hospital girls. Now the gender ratio is 6:4. So we ride all the way back to Ft. Lauderdale Beach and everyone's parents were there to pick them up. I wanted to light sparklers, but it was too windy. That's okay because that just means I need to have another party :)
ANALYSIS: The reason I valued the party so much and took the time to handpick the few people I did pick is because I knew I didn't want to be with just anybody on my birthday. I wanted to be with people who I know love and care about me. I wanted to be with people who made me happy, who made me smile, and who gave me hugs on a daily basis. I wanted to be with people who I knew would want to celebrate me whether it was fancy or if we had just stopped by McDonald's. I kept the party a secret because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The day before my party people started to find out and question me about to why I didn't invite them. Usually it was because they wouldn't know anyone besides me, they would throw off my friend mix, or because we weren't as close as to me as everyone else I invited. All of my friends are the main reason my birthday was so awesome. Every happy birthday wish, every hug, every smile, every message, every happy moment I got to share with someone else is the reason I really do love all my friends (even the ones I couldn't invite). They are the epitome of a Happy Birthday.
"What is a limo and cake if you have no one to share it with? "
-Camille ^_^
Yesterday was my birthday and even though I had told my mom I didn't want a party in December, by January, I had changed my mind and decided not only did I want to have a small party, but I wanted a limo as well. After a lot of research and hard work, my party was ready to go. I only invited 14 people. This selection process was actually very difficult because I had to make lists and decide who I felt was a Varsity (1st pick). Then, I prepared back up people for everyone. From there, I made sure that my ratio of people who knew each other would be even. I invited 7 friends from school, 3 friends from the hospital, my best friend, and 2 friends I made through her. Then, I had to make sure the gender ratio was somewhat close. So I had a ratio of 6 boys to 8 girls. Then, I had to ensure that all personalities would mesh well and also that no one had any "beef" with anyone else. After giving out my invitations (which were beautiful by the way) and everyone RSVPed, it was time for everyone to meet up at dinner. So all of my friends showed up within a reasonable time frame and everyone was looking so good. I sat in the middle of the long table because I had a feeling they would naturally segregate into the social groups in which they felt most comfortable. This is the social norm of high school. Thus, the reason I handpicked everyone so that they would know at least two other people besides myself. We had dinner and ate my very fancy cake. Of course mid-dinner all the girls had to get up and go the restroom together. Then, we felt inspired to take pictures near the restrooms. If I have pictures with my ladies, then I have to have pictures with my guys. As promised, my limo came on time and the inside looked really nice. One of my girls left at this point, making the gender ratio 6:7. Though the limo looked very nice and had amenities of sodas and water, the limo did not have an aux cord. So we had to figure out how to use the radio to listen to music. In the meantime, two of my friends gave me their birthday gift, which was "making it rain" on me with $40 in 1's. Then, another friend gave me $20 in addition to the beautiful gift he originally gave me, plus the singles I had before. The driver takes us to Bayside, Miami. For some reason, everyone felt the need to go to the bathroom. We took the escalator to take the use the restrooms upstairs, but little did I know, one of my guest had a fear of escalators. But, I am extremely pro-buddy system so she kept a girl down stair with her. Then, 3 other girls breakoff to use restroom. So the rest of us go downstairs to find the first 2 girls that went to the restroom, just to find out that they went upstairs. Then, one of the guys had to use the restroom. Eventually, everyone got back together and we went outside near the bay. Even though it was supposed to rain, it didn't (YAY!!) and we turned up down there. There was live music outside and we played around there until I found someplace where I wanted to take more pictures. I gathered up squad and I did so. Then, I was ready to go so we all got back in the limo and (thanks to one of my friends who purchased an aux cord) listened to music all the way to the hospital where I dropped off my hospital girls. Now the gender ratio is 6:4. So we ride all the way back to Ft. Lauderdale Beach and everyone's parents were there to pick them up. I wanted to light sparklers, but it was too windy. That's okay because that just means I need to have another party :)
ANALYSIS: The reason I valued the party so much and took the time to handpick the few people I did pick is because I knew I didn't want to be with just anybody on my birthday. I wanted to be with people who I know love and care about me. I wanted to be with people who made me happy, who made me smile, and who gave me hugs on a daily basis. I wanted to be with people who I knew would want to celebrate me whether it was fancy or if we had just stopped by McDonald's. I kept the party a secret because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The day before my party people started to find out and question me about to why I didn't invite them. Usually it was because they wouldn't know anyone besides me, they would throw off my friend mix, or because we weren't as close as to me as everyone else I invited. All of my friends are the main reason my birthday was so awesome. Every happy birthday wish, every hug, every smile, every message, every happy moment I got to share with someone else is the reason I really do love all my friends (even the ones I couldn't invite). They are the epitome of a Happy Birthday.
"What is a limo and cake if you have no one to share it with? "
-Camille ^_^
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
I-95
STORY TIME:
Yesterday was the first time I ever drove on I-95. I have been driving since December, but it was very scattered and always on less populated roads. I finally got up the courage to drive in I-95 and I did it. It wasn't flawless. For instance, when I was trying to get off I stared at the side mirror too long and the car started to drift into the next lane, most likely scaring the people who were honking at me. However, other than that, the ride was pretty good. I got to my destination and I conquered a worry that was slowly transforming into a crippling fear. I'm so glad I faced my soon to be fear.
Today, I drove on I-95 again and it was flawless. I was able to switch lanes with no problem and I did not scare anyone. I'm glad I went ahead and faced my fears because it made driving 150% easier.
ANALYSIS: Sometimes it is better to face a worry head-on before it becomes a fear. I was very tempted to give up driving on major highways in general, but I made myself drive on I-95 because I refuse to limit myself. How will I be a successful functioning member of society in the future, if I am letting obstacles in life limit me this early in life? Though I had temporary discomfort driving the interstate for the first time, it was worth it. It allowed by second time to be easier and mildly enjoyable.
Yesterday was the first time I ever drove on I-95. I have been driving since December, but it was very scattered and always on less populated roads. I finally got up the courage to drive in I-95 and I did it. It wasn't flawless. For instance, when I was trying to get off I stared at the side mirror too long and the car started to drift into the next lane, most likely scaring the people who were honking at me. However, other than that, the ride was pretty good. I got to my destination and I conquered a worry that was slowly transforming into a crippling fear. I'm so glad I faced my soon to be fear.
Today, I drove on I-95 again and it was flawless. I was able to switch lanes with no problem and I did not scare anyone. I'm glad I went ahead and faced my fears because it made driving 150% easier.
ANALYSIS: Sometimes it is better to face a worry head-on before it becomes a fear. I was very tempted to give up driving on major highways in general, but I made myself drive on I-95 because I refuse to limit myself. How will I be a successful functioning member of society in the future, if I am letting obstacles in life limit me this early in life? Though I had temporary discomfort driving the interstate for the first time, it was worth it. It allowed by second time to be easier and mildly enjoyable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)