My Chinese Class (我的中文课)

I was talking to one of my friends from Chinese class a couple months ago. I told him that since I'm leaving the school this year, it would be awesome if he drew something for me. I suggested he draw a dragon exploding with hearts around it with the phrase "Camille is amazing" on it. We laughed about it and continued on with our day. Yesterday was my last day of school and Chinese is my last class of the day. My 老师 （teacher) had the students who were leaving go up and say our goodbyes. I didn't know what to say so I did my best to advocate to everyone how much I love them, even though when I first met them , I thought they were all crazy. After the last person finishes speaking, a student who isn't leaving goes up to speak with a piece of paper. He says " I have been holding this for a month so I can give it to Camille." He brings me this piece of paper and it's the picture I asked for. The awesome thing is he had all of my friends sign it;even the people who aren't in my Chinese class. Everbody left me personal messages and it was just so heartfelt and genuine. The most awesome people at my school truely love me. This is the best suprise I have ever had.

To my Chinese classmates:
I love all of you sooooo much. Even though you all are crazy, you have grown on me. I'll miss all of you and don't you forget about me <3 我爱你！
-陆可梦

1000 VIEWS!!!! (☆_☆) \(^-^)/ (☆_☆) \(^-^)/

I have finally reached 1,000 views!! That's so amazing!! In 4 months, I have opened a blog, posted on said blog, developed an audience through social media, and have reached viewers that span over 5 countries. That is so awesome. Globalization is fantastic. Thank you so much for supporting me by reading my posts. I love all my viewers <3 (Thank you to my mom for clicking my blog 1,000 times lol)

(Good) Discomfort

I really don't like discomfort. By discomfort, I mean anything that has potential to upset me. I don't like scary movies, over aggression, or getting upset. All of those things cause me to have great discomfort. My class requires us to study the Holocaust. The Holocaust is an awful event that took place and its horrific to think about the evils that humans are willing to commit against other humans. I understand that we have to learn about it yearly to prevent this type of repetition in history. However, I still don't enjoy it. The word alone has the ability to glaze a room full of rowdy teenagers in wave of discomfort and sadness. It was suggested that the class watch Schindler's List. I know personally that I wouldn't be able to handle that. There's a huge difference between reading about the horrors and having to sit back and watch them take place. Fortunately, we were allowed to watch Life is Beautiful . This movie is also very sad from midpoint on. What I like is that the film creators didn't feel the need to show you the gory horrors, rather, they allowed the intelligence of the human mind to fill in the gaps of the unseen violence. This movie centers in on the love an innocent man has for his family and how much effort he puts into preserving his son's innocence. It really shows that life is beautiful and the love that this one man has is almost enough to help remove all the hate seen in his environment. So even though the topic of the movie made me feel uncomfortable and sad, it was necessary. Not a necessary evil, but a good discomfort.

Supression

I was having an excellent day. My hug quota was filled, I completed an interactive lab, and I was wearing  my awesome Los Angeles, California sweatshirt. I'm in the middle of a test and I feel something hard hit me in my ribs. I look to see an obnoxious baseball player and some of his groupies trying to suppress their laughter. He immediately says "Oh, it flew out of my hand" and laughs some more. I'm thinking, Sure it did. Something can accidentally fly 5 feet in my direction. Speechless, my face starts to burn. I assume this must be because I am embarrassed. I hear the white noise of one of his groupies try to defend his immature actions, but I can't focus on anything she is saying because I can feel my blood pressure and body temperature rising. It continues to escalate as I think of how compassionate I've been the whole year allowing this junior to act like an immature buffoon. It's suddenly getting higher and hotter as I realize that this guy is a thief who has stolen my education time by being so distracting with his inconsiderate behavior (not just today, every single day). I feel the pressure fill the room like helium fills a balloon. Ready to pop at any moment. I'm in a pot of water that's boiling on the fire. This boy has foolishly lit a fire in a field of straw and little does he know, I am ready to light him up. That causes me to realize that this burning in my face wasn't embarrassment, this was the burning of my red hot furry. I don't know what I want to say so I just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind when think of a guy like him. I yell out "Are you being racist?!" The confusion in his face defused the bomb that almost killed him. I almost feel bad about my comment until he starts getting mad and trying to discretely talk about me. I don't really care about the talking about me because I personally get nervous when people aren't talking about me,but for some reason when this boy does it, it just makes me angrier. I am not a violent person so I removed myself from the space and sat in a different seat. I took one breath and I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. I felt so tired from the anger, while still being angry. My anger started to express itself in the form of acidic tears. I stand up and walk to get tissues from my teacher's desk. I can tell she thinks I am upset about the test, however the minute I look up and align my watery eyes with hers, I feel her heart sink into her stomach. I know that she knows that something happened to upset me and her eyes tell me that she wishes she could help, but knows that there's no way she could help me in the way that I require. I tell her why I'm upset, but don't ask her to do anything about it;why ask for something that I know she doesn't have.
Had I expressed my feeling of irritation with this person earlier in the year, I wouldn't have to had all this suppressed anger for him to uncap.  The thing is I don't want this kid to be punished for immaturity. I want him to understand that his behavior is inappropriate and that I shouldn't have to tolerate it. However, just like everything in my life, there is a brightside. At least, I have another story to add to the book of my life.

Starting anger

Increased anger

COME AT ME,  BRUH!!

Apprieciation (Goodbye) Cards

I am transitioning a lot at this point in my life. I'm transferring schools and changing volunteer jobs. I'm doing more independent travel. I'm coming into my adult self more and more each day. Due to all the change, I made special people special goodbye cards. All of the cards have different styles in the way they say thank you. I also attached a piece of candy to the card so that the card receiver may have a lasting thought that I am sweet (like candy). I handwrite all of them and make sure that each card is personalized to the individual. I have been fortunate enough to meet and develop relationships with the most amazing people. Since I have benefitted so much from these relationships, I feel that it is my responsibility to make others aware about my feelings of fondness towards them. The only thing uniform among all my cards was the amount of love I put in them and my suggestion that receiver keep in contact with me. Although I stay busy, I never forget those who invested in me whether that investment be financial, an investment of time, or an emotional investment. I could only hope that they wouldn't forget about me. As this chapter of my life comes to a close, I want it to end my style. I want it to end happy and sweet.

A Month Without Electronics - Hypothesis

In about month, I will be entering an immersive Chinese program in which I will not be allowed to use electronic devices because all of my devices are programmed in English. I will have a month of no cellphone, no social media, and no blogging (so depressed). I'm excited to embark on this new adventure, but since my current life is filled with so much technology, I assume the adjustment may be a little harder. I know you can't miss something you don't have, so I predict after the first week without personal electronics, I'll be well adapted to this pre-Apple lifestyle. I think it will also help me make friends faster because all of us will be focused on furthering our Chinese learning and making memories without having the distractions of our phones. The program prefers we write letters back home as an alternative to the use of cell phones. I'm sure our letters will move slower than our texts, but I have a feeling that our letters will be more meaningful than our texts. I also enjoy the idea of writing home because it will allow me to practice my writing skills. This is my basic hypothesis of how lack of electronics will affect me. I'll write up my results after I finish the program.

Survival Guide : Living with 10 Girls Part 4

Tip #11: Appreciation
Develop an appreciation for the small things like getting to eat at the restaurant of your choice or amazing things like being by yourself. When living with 10 people in a small living quarters with no kitchen, you develop the magical ability to hear the exquisite sound in silence. It's so beautiful and subtle; the inaudible sound that fills the air when you're alone in your over populated living quarters. It happens so rarely that when you realize no one else is home, you may just sit and listen to it. It's important to appreciate the small things because it keeps everyone grounded and humbled. Appreciation forces you to recognize that as a person, you are not entitled to anything and that you should be grateful for everything.

Tip #12: Desensitization
I highly suggest developing a desensitization to things that may be typically viewed as vulgar profane, unorthodox, and simply inappropriate. For these things are indeed inappropriate, but they are of common teenage lingo so it's best to be desensitized to some things that you may hear. Teenagers are immature and may make jokes that are stupid. They may also play in a way that is silly, noisy, and inconsiderate. It's best to remember that they do not intend to fend or incontinence anyone, they more don't really recognize the disturbance they've caused until after the fact. As mentioned previously, teenagers are immature so if something is really offensive, just publicly express your offense in a calm tone because it embarrasses them. They will stop.

Tip #13: Share
Sharing encourages others to share with you. That sharing may consist of food or of personal feelings amongst each other. Either way, the sharing promotes bonding and that is extremely important when living with 10 girls. Plus, if you don't share, they won't care, and take some food regardless. Easiest way to remember is sharing is caring. 

Tip #14: SQUAD UP
Everywhere you go, squad up. You must always be with another person, especially in a foreign place. Everyone else will protect you just as you protect them. There is safety in greater numbers. Plus, when you travel in squads, your group selfies are that much better.

Tip #15: Learn To Love Them
In the end of all the sleepless nights, the endless random hairs, and the possessed Blanka orangutan screaming matches, it's important to learn how to love them. They are extremely annoying a lot of times, but they are still biologically people and require to be loved as so. Different individuals need various types and degrees of love and affection. Moving into a room of 10 girls, it's natural to be unaware everyone's individual requirement or limitation of affection. By the time to move out, you have learned how to properly love others as they have learned how to properly love you.