I won 1st place, (FL) State Champion in Business Professionals of America Human Resource Management. I felt a little happiness, but I didn't feel elated or excited. I almost felt disappointed. I entered 11 entries in the Literary Fair at my school. I placed. Not only did I place, but I placed in 7 different categories. I placed 1st , 2nd, and 3rd. The weird thing is even though I should have felt accomplished and happy, I really didn't change from my neutral emotional state. Everyone else were quite amazed and impressed, but no matter what compliment I received, I never really felt elated, proud, or excited. I didn't really feel anything. Ironically, when I realized my blog was increasing in the number of views and expanding globally regarding viewers, I felt so happy. Nothing could take my smile away. No one knew besides myself, but I didn't feel the need to hear others congratulation. I felt it from my viewers, especially when I realized my fan base extended out to Peru and Saudi Arabia. In my mind, 110 views in my 1st month of ever having a blog is more valuable than any titles I have accumulated in the last month.
Through this moment of self analysis, I realize that the value of something is based on each person indiviually. It's all about perception. What (according to social norms) I should have found more important caused me to feel nothing at all. I consider them to be neutral stimuli, for usually they stimulate different feelings, however I still felt nothing. I perceived these accomplishments to be obligatory, thus the rewards that stem from these accomplishments felt mildly ridiculous and embarrassing. It almost felt like my parents were giving me an award for breathing; silly and unnecessary to reward me for something I do naturally. I felt happy about the views on my blog because the blog is something I started and writing how I feel makes me happy. The fact that other people seem to also enjoy it just makes that much better. Thank You to All My Viewers!! :)
Through this moment of self analysis, I realize that the value of something is based on each person indiviually. It's all about perception. What (according to social norms) I should have found more important caused me to feel nothing at all. I consider them to be neutral stimuli, for usually they stimulate different feelings, however I still felt nothing. I perceived these accomplishments to be obligatory, thus the rewards that stem from these accomplishments felt mildly ridiculous and embarrassing. It almost felt like my parents were giving me an award for breathing; silly and unnecessary to reward me for something I do naturally. I felt happy about the views on my blog because the blog is something I started and writing how I feel makes me happy. The fact that other people seem to also enjoy it just makes that much better. Thank You to All My Viewers!! :)
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